Hi friends and welcome back to My Feminist Voice! It's been a busy last couple of days with things going on in my home life and catching up on other class work, so I haven't had the chance to post recently but I'm back with a new one now. Tonight we're going to be discussing something very close to my high school heart; the dress code.
Anyone who knew me well in middle and high school knew how infuriated I was by the dress code implemented by our schools. I grew up in the Calgary Catholic School District, so it's possible our dress code was stricter than those in public schools so perhaps this doesn't apply to all schools. But in my school, not every teacher/staff member was strict about the dress code. Most kids knew which teachers and administrators were "dress code enthusiasts" and many of us tried to ensure we didn't cross paths with them when we could avoid it.
School aged children are obviously between the ages of 5 and 18 years old, so naturally of course we don't want them showing up to school dressed for the beach or a strip club. But I strongly believe that the dress codes implemented by mine and many other schools across Canada are sexist and gender based. They also send a very damaging message to both boys and girls, and I'm going to share with you what that is and why it is so crucial to society in and outside of schools.
I can't say exactly what the dress codes are like in every school, but in my school everybody knew exactly what was and wasn't against the dress code. It was never really a topic of conversation in the winter months (usually between November and March or April), but during the fall and spring/summer months, we'd all be preparing for "the dress code lecture." The dress code for girls and boys was very different. The rules for girls are as follows: shorts had to be longer than your fingertips when you held your arms at your side, your tank top straps had to be at least 3 fingers thick, shirts had to cover every area of the chest and cleavage, and skirts had to be two inches from your knees. The rule for boys was no muscle shirts. That was all.
The publicly known purpose for dress codes is to keep children dressed appropriately during school hours simply because school is about learning, not dressing up. But beneath the surface, it is focused on the uncontrollable attention spans of young boys. The dress code concept itself suggests that boys are incapable of focusing in a classroom where girls' bodies aren't completely covered up. It suggests that boys' education is dependent on girls dressing a certain way and makes girls responsible for whether a boy passes or fails.
Not only does the dress code make girls clothing responsible for boys' success in their education, but it sends a very crucial message to boys and girls about life in and outside the classroom. Forcing a girl to go home and change her clothes because what she's wearing may distract the boys from the lesson isn't something that occurs in private. Often teachers will tell a female student to cover herself up with a sweater, change into her gym clothes or even send her home to change while other students are present in the classroom. Some teachers even refuse to let a female student into the classroom if she's wearing something that violates the dress code. I know this from personal experience. My 10th grade social studies teacher refused to let me attend the class unless I put something over my tank top that had straps 2 fingers thick and completely covered my cleavage. I was sent down to the office and had to wear the vice principal's zip-up hoodie for the rest of the day. Sending girls home or to the main office when their clothes aren't deemed appropriate forces them to miss part of the class, and in this case they're held responsible for the things they miss during that time.
The message this sends boys and girls as young as middle school aged is this; what a girl is wearing is responsible for the way a boy responds. For boys, this teaches them that when they are entranced by what they can see through a girl's clothing, the girl is responsible to change her clothes in order to prevent this. It teaches boys that it is normal for boys to become sexually aroused by a girl's chest, shoulders, and thighs while she's wearing shorts and a tank top on a hot day, stuck in a classroom with no air conditioning and 30 other kids. It teaches them that they should not be able to control their sexual feelings, and that the girl is responsible for the way he feels. It shows boys that he doesn't have to change the way he looks at girls, that he doesn't have to pay attention if a girl's attire is distracting, that the problem is her clothes, not his lack of self control.
For girls, this teaches them that they are the problem. It suggests that boys having a distraction free environment to learn in is more important than her being in the classroom at all. It shows them that a boy's discomfort in learning in a classroom with uncovered girls is more important than the humiliation and shame she feels when she gets publicly sent out of class and returns wearing gym clothes or clothes from the lost and found. It teaches girls that they cannot dress in what makes them comfortable and happy if it turns boys' heads in the classroom. Most importantly, it shows young girls that they are responsible to be the solution when a boy's wandering mind is the problem. It shames girls and excuses inappropriate behavior of boys.
This is important in the classroom setting, but it also is crucial outside the safe walls of schools. I believe that sexual assault culture, slut shaming and the sexualization of women started here, in elementary, middle and high schools, with the dress code principle. Teaching school aged children that girls are responsible for boys' inability to control themselves is what creates men who believe their sexual impulsiveness is the girl's fault. It is the foundation of a culture where assault victims are asked what they were wearing, why they would drink so much, why they would walk outside alone at night, why they didn't do something to stop it. Sexism and gender discrimination isn't in our blood, it's learned. A lot of what we believe as adults is what was taught to us as children. Boys who kept looking away from the whiteboard and at a girl's legs, then watching the teacher tell her to go change her clothes are the men who assault women and say "she was asking for it, look how short her skirt is" and "if she didn't want me to touch it, she should have covered it up." We aren't born misogynistic and sexist, we learn it. We observe what we see in schools and apply it to our lives when we graduate.
So long as young children are watching and listening to adults tell girls to change her clothes so boys can focus in class, boys are going to believe that a girl's attire is responsible for his actions, and girls are going to believe that they need to go out of their way to put a man's comfort before hers. If we don't teach our kids that girls aren't sexual objects and boys are responsible for their self control or lack thereof, they're going to take that into the world with them when they graduate. This is where sexual assault culture begins. This is where sexism is learned. This is where it starts, and it's where it needs to end. As I mentioned in my intro post, I'm an education major. I will be graduating with a teaching degree in April 2023. I plan to fight the sexist dress code concept, and teach my male students that they and they alone are responsible for controlling themselves, that their urges are their problem, not hers. We as feminists have come along way since the waves of feminism emerged, but evidently we still have a long way to go.
I know I said I would keep these posts brief and to the point, but this one is something that hits so close to home and I felt like I needed to share my thoughts in full. I promise going forward to make these reasonably lengthed, but I'd love to hear your guys' thoughts on this concept. Thank you all again for reading and I hope you'll be back for my next post!
Anyone who knew me well in middle and high school knew how infuriated I was by the dress code implemented by our schools. I grew up in the Calgary Catholic School District, so it's possible our dress code was stricter than those in public schools so perhaps this doesn't apply to all schools. But in my school, not every teacher/staff member was strict about the dress code. Most kids knew which teachers and administrators were "dress code enthusiasts" and many of us tried to ensure we didn't cross paths with them when we could avoid it.
School aged children are obviously between the ages of 5 and 18 years old, so naturally of course we don't want them showing up to school dressed for the beach or a strip club. But I strongly believe that the dress codes implemented by mine and many other schools across Canada are sexist and gender based. They also send a very damaging message to both boys and girls, and I'm going to share with you what that is and why it is so crucial to society in and outside of schools.
I can't say exactly what the dress codes are like in every school, but in my school everybody knew exactly what was and wasn't against the dress code. It was never really a topic of conversation in the winter months (usually between November and March or April), but during the fall and spring/summer months, we'd all be preparing for "the dress code lecture." The dress code for girls and boys was very different. The rules for girls are as follows: shorts had to be longer than your fingertips when you held your arms at your side, your tank top straps had to be at least 3 fingers thick, shirts had to cover every area of the chest and cleavage, and skirts had to be two inches from your knees. The rule for boys was no muscle shirts. That was all.
The publicly known purpose for dress codes is to keep children dressed appropriately during school hours simply because school is about learning, not dressing up. But beneath the surface, it is focused on the uncontrollable attention spans of young boys. The dress code concept itself suggests that boys are incapable of focusing in a classroom where girls' bodies aren't completely covered up. It suggests that boys' education is dependent on girls dressing a certain way and makes girls responsible for whether a boy passes or fails.
Not only does the dress code make girls clothing responsible for boys' success in their education, but it sends a very crucial message to boys and girls about life in and outside the classroom. Forcing a girl to go home and change her clothes because what she's wearing may distract the boys from the lesson isn't something that occurs in private. Often teachers will tell a female student to cover herself up with a sweater, change into her gym clothes or even send her home to change while other students are present in the classroom. Some teachers even refuse to let a female student into the classroom if she's wearing something that violates the dress code. I know this from personal experience. My 10th grade social studies teacher refused to let me attend the class unless I put something over my tank top that had straps 2 fingers thick and completely covered my cleavage. I was sent down to the office and had to wear the vice principal's zip-up hoodie for the rest of the day. Sending girls home or to the main office when their clothes aren't deemed appropriate forces them to miss part of the class, and in this case they're held responsible for the things they miss during that time.
The message this sends boys and girls as young as middle school aged is this; what a girl is wearing is responsible for the way a boy responds. For boys, this teaches them that when they are entranced by what they can see through a girl's clothing, the girl is responsible to change her clothes in order to prevent this. It teaches boys that it is normal for boys to become sexually aroused by a girl's chest, shoulders, and thighs while she's wearing shorts and a tank top on a hot day, stuck in a classroom with no air conditioning and 30 other kids. It teaches them that they should not be able to control their sexual feelings, and that the girl is responsible for the way he feels. It shows boys that he doesn't have to change the way he looks at girls, that he doesn't have to pay attention if a girl's attire is distracting, that the problem is her clothes, not his lack of self control.
For girls, this teaches them that they are the problem. It suggests that boys having a distraction free environment to learn in is more important than her being in the classroom at all. It shows them that a boy's discomfort in learning in a classroom with uncovered girls is more important than the humiliation and shame she feels when she gets publicly sent out of class and returns wearing gym clothes or clothes from the lost and found. It teaches girls that they cannot dress in what makes them comfortable and happy if it turns boys' heads in the classroom. Most importantly, it shows young girls that they are responsible to be the solution when a boy's wandering mind is the problem. It shames girls and excuses inappropriate behavior of boys.
This is important in the classroom setting, but it also is crucial outside the safe walls of schools. I believe that sexual assault culture, slut shaming and the sexualization of women started here, in elementary, middle and high schools, with the dress code principle. Teaching school aged children that girls are responsible for boys' inability to control themselves is what creates men who believe their sexual impulsiveness is the girl's fault. It is the foundation of a culture where assault victims are asked what they were wearing, why they would drink so much, why they would walk outside alone at night, why they didn't do something to stop it. Sexism and gender discrimination isn't in our blood, it's learned. A lot of what we believe as adults is what was taught to us as children. Boys who kept looking away from the whiteboard and at a girl's legs, then watching the teacher tell her to go change her clothes are the men who assault women and say "she was asking for it, look how short her skirt is" and "if she didn't want me to touch it, she should have covered it up." We aren't born misogynistic and sexist, we learn it. We observe what we see in schools and apply it to our lives when we graduate.
So long as young children are watching and listening to adults tell girls to change her clothes so boys can focus in class, boys are going to believe that a girl's attire is responsible for his actions, and girls are going to believe that they need to go out of their way to put a man's comfort before hers. If we don't teach our kids that girls aren't sexual objects and boys are responsible for their self control or lack thereof, they're going to take that into the world with them when they graduate. This is where sexual assault culture begins. This is where sexism is learned. This is where it starts, and it's where it needs to end. As I mentioned in my intro post, I'm an education major. I will be graduating with a teaching degree in April 2023. I plan to fight the sexist dress code concept, and teach my male students that they and they alone are responsible for controlling themselves, that their urges are their problem, not hers. We as feminists have come along way since the waves of feminism emerged, but evidently we still have a long way to go.
I know I said I would keep these posts brief and to the point, but this one is something that hits so close to home and I felt like I needed to share my thoughts in full. I promise going forward to make these reasonably lengthed, but I'd love to hear your guys' thoughts on this concept. Thank you all again for reading and I hope you'll be back for my next post!
This was such an eye opener. I never realized how toxic our dress codes were before I read this. It goes to show how influential our schools are in our lives even when we're gone. It is crucial we teach boys that girls aren't sex objects! This was inspiring and made me look at our system with different eyes. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI agree and have always thought that dress codes were bias against females. There needs to be more conversation with boys about their attention and focus. Perhaps there can be school focus groups on this to come
ReplyDeleteUp with something while specifically looking at system sexism within the school dress codes.